So Maybe I'm Crazy

I've come to the conclusion that I'm okay with being called crazy. Or even being thought of as crazy. 

I could so easily drop it all. I could go to University and then maybe end up with a "stable" job somewhere. And believe me, the thought has come to my mind.

But then I think about Him. I think about His promises to me. I think about all He's done so that I could live out the destiny He designed just for me. Then suddenly I can no longer see my life any other way than how it is right now, and where it's going.

I begin to realize, it just doesn't matter to me anymore, the life that the world expects of me. The life that would categorize me as "normal". 

(I will be adding my photo's in here to "grip" you)

And the best part is that as soon as I said yes to Him, so many wonderful things have happened.

Because of my yes, I've been to Hawaii, The UK, France and Amsterdam, all in less than a year. 

Because of my yes, I have met such an amazing community of people from all across the globe that I hardly believe I have the pleasure of knowing. 

Because of my yes, the Lord has given me uncontainable joy in all circumstances. Even the crappy one's. 

Especially the crappy ones.

I was reading the story in Mark 14 recently about the woman with the alabaster jar. Just to refresh all of us, this woman basically dumped a bunch of expensive perfume, which was pretty much everything she had, on Jesus' feet and the disciples got all mad. Typical.

Then it dawned on me: I'm the woman with the alabaster jar. I mean, not literally, but dude, I've poured out a lot. My time, my energy, my money. Lots. All for Him. And though the world calls it wasteful, He calls it beautiful.

All He had to say to me was, "Hey, I got something in store for you. Give up your job, sell your clothes (true story), and move to Hawaii (As paradisal as that last part sounds, you gotta know me. I don't even like heat or the beach)". And like that, I was sold. Without even having the clarity of what He had in store. All I knew was that I wanted to be a part of His story.

Then Jesus was all like:

"She has done a beautiful thing to Me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can have them any time you want. But you will not always have Me." (Mark 14:6-7)

And as much as I have poured out to Him, I still desire to pour out even more. Every last drop of obedience. 

Who knows, the Lord could so easily call me back to college. Back to a job. But I think He really enjoy's having me here in this place of total dependency on Him, because it causes me to have no other option but to lean into Him. To spend extra time thinking about Him and what He does. To focus on how big He is.

I heard someone say: "it's far safer to be out on the water with Jesus than to be in the boat without Him".

And how true that is.

But the point of all this isn't that there's only one right lifestyle, and missions is that way. Not at all. The point is that His way is the right way, and that's what ever He decides for our lives to be. Wherever He's called us, that's where we should be heading. Not sacrifice, but obedience. That's what He desires. Whether it's being called to love on gypsies in Romania, or to love on students at your university.

So, I've let go of any "plan B" that I might have had coming into this. I've burned every bridge that would help me to fall back into stability. Because it's so much more rewarding to know I'm living for eternity and not putting my hope into this earth, which will eventually fade away with everything else.

 

He is the only thing that remains. He is the one whom I choose to live for daily. He's all I've got left.

I would truly do anything, if at the end of this life I could hear God say "Well done, my good and faithful servant".

Even if that labels me as "crazy" for the rest of this life. 

He's so worth it. So incredibly worth it.